oṃ sarve bhavantu sukhinaḥ (Let all be happy)

The dawn of the new year is perhaps an ideal time to take stock of what we truly need for contentment. This may call for a pause, maybe, even a deep breath.  Spending a few moments, if not hours, reflecting on it is a fantastic way to unearth the right path.

Psychological research suggests that at the end of the day, sitting quietly and writing down a list of good things that happened can help improve one’s mood and foster a sense of contentment. This exercise involves spending a few moments every evening reflecting on your day and then writing down three things that went well or that you enjoyed most. It could be anything that felt positive to you. And these positive things don’t have to be life-changing— they can be as simple as spending the evening with good friends.  

You may now ask, “How does this work?” The answer is simple: It reverses our naturally hard-wired tendency to remember and dwell on the negative, rather than the positive.  Of course, there is a strong evolutionary reason for our remembering and thinking about negative events: It is vital for our survival. For instance, we don’t care if a stray dog comes across our path, but if it is a snake, we would. Our brain is primed for danger to keep us safe. But this negativity bias can overwhelm us.

Given this reality, if we undertake this writing- down-of-three-good-things exercise daily, it would help us focus on the positive concretely.  Over a period of its practice as an end-of-the-day exercise, no wonder if its impact starts working on you throughout the day— it may force you to search for good things to add to the list. You would thus train not only to look out for threats but also for good things.

It is, of course, true that when one is passing through very tough times, one may find it hard to trace good things.  This may not transform your life, but research shows that it could be effective even when one is passing through a period of depression.  It however does not mean that it works for everybody.     

The scope of using this method in everyday life to improve one’s well-being was first researched by Martin Seligman and Chris Peterson and the results were published in 2005. They reported that within a month, people who carried out the three-good-things exercise began to show improvements in their happiness and a decrease in depression symptoms.

It may be worth trying these kinds of interventions, which cost nothing and consume very little time to check if they work for you. And, remember, as a protagonist in a film says, “Next time is next time” and so start now because “Now is Now”.

** 

… Vīta-rāga-bhaya-krodhah (Gīta 2.56)

The other day I had the honour of making a presentation to the faculty and students of NICMAR University, Pune on the topic: Values and Ethics: Revisiting Indian Knowledge System. 

As I hurriedly concluded my presentation drawing the attention of the audience to a verse from Yajurveda, “… may we look on one another with the eye of a friend” (xxvi-18), a young lady from the front row of the auditorium posed a question: “some people, for no valid reason, shout at you and you can’t give them back but it causes a lot of stress. How to handle that stress? Am I to simply accept it? But it causes a lot of stress … a lot of stress.”

I could see the pain of it writ large in her face. I did respond to her question, though hurriedly. Nevertheless, we shall now examine it in detail.

First things first: Let us first understand what stress is. Stress is the body’s response to a stressor. A stressor is a trigger that may cause one to experience physical, emotional, or mental distress and pressure. In the instant case, the stressor is: the uncivilized behaviour of the person who yelled at the lady for no valid reason. This rude behaviour triggered a feeling of being overwhelmed and she could not cope with the pressures caused by it.

A stressful situation triggers a cascade of stress hormones which produce well-orchestrated physiological changes in our body. A stressful incident makes the heart pound and breathing quicken. Muscles tense up. Beads of sweat appear.

This kind of reaction to a stressful event is also known as the “fight-or-flight” response. For, it evolved as a survival mechanism. It enables people to react quickly to life-threatening situations—activates one to fight the threat off or flee to safety.

Unfortunately, there is a flip side to it: the body can also overreact to stressors that are not life-threatening such as the yelling of somebody at you, traffic jams, deadlines at work, etc.

Over the years, researchers have learned how and why these reactions occur. When a person encounters a threat, say noticed a cobra on the path, the eyes send the information to the amygdala—the part of the brain that handles emotional processing. Interpreting the images and perceiving them as dangerous, amygdala instantly sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus.

In turn, hypothalamus communicates the threat to the rest of the body through the autonomic nervous system, which consists of two components: One, sympathetic nervous system that functions as a gas pedal in a car, and two, parasympathetic nervous system that functions as a break.

On receipt of a message from hypothalamus, sympathetic nervous system by providing a burst of energy to the body, triggers a fight or flight response to the perceived threat. Once the threat is passed, parasympathetic nervous system calms the body by promoting a “rest and digest” response.

On receipt of a distress signal through sympathetic nervous system, adrenal glands also get activated. They respond by pumping the hormone epinephrine into the bloodstream. The circulation of epinephrine in the body brings a number of physiological changes: heart beats faster, pulse rate and blood pressure go up. Breathing becomes more rapid. Epinephrine also triggers the release of sugar into the bloodstream. All these changes happen so fast that without being aware of them, we even jump out of the path of the cobra well before we realize what we are doing.

Once the surge of epinephrine subsides, the hypothalamous activates the second channel of the response system: HPA axis. It consists of hypothalamus, pituitary gland and adrenal gland. This axis aids the brain to keep the ‘gas pedal’ pressed down. In the event of brain continuing to perceive the threat, hypothalamus releases corticotropin-release hormone. Travelling to pituitary gland, it will trigger the release of adrenocorticotropic hormone. This, in turn, travels to adrenal glands and nudges them to release cortisol. Thus, the body remains on high alert.

Once the threat passes, cortisol levels fall and the parasympathetic nervous system applies brake and dampens the stress response. But many people fail to apply brakes on stress. This leads to chronic low level of stress, which is likely to cause health problems at a later date. Persistent release of epinephrine damages blood vessels. It also increases blood pressure. In turn, the risk of heart attacks or strokes stand enhanced. Increased levels of cortisol may also lead to overweight.

Fortunately, we can learn the techniques of managing stress responses. Psychologists say that stress is produced not by events themselves but by one’s reaction to events (stressors). It is precisely because of this that we see people reacting to a given stressor differently. 

For instance, let us take the lady’s problem of somebody yelling at her for her no fault as an example and see how two people react to the same problem differently. The man who gives least importance to such yelling believing that it was the habit of the yeller (yo tho pagal hai, aise chillata hai) and deserves no attention, simply walks away from it. On the other hand, the man who takes it as personal insult cannot but brood over it: “Of all the people why to me? I behave so soberly, never tread on others’ toes, I speak so gently, and yet why this man yell at me? That too, in front of so many?” If you keep on agonising like that over what had happened for days together, your hypothalamus will keep HPA axis active —‘the gas pedal’ remains pressed down. Which means, release of hormones into bloodstream continuously, which in turn, keeps the body on high alert. This results in chronic stress that can later lead to cardiovascular problems.

Instead, realising the fact that it is our thoughts that influence our emotions, and it is these emotions that influence hormonal secretions and our behaviour, if we could reframe our thoughts about the stressor—rude behaviour/yelling, etc.—we can certainly help ourselves in reducing feelings of stress. Suppose in the instant case, if we could think of the yeller as a man with no culture and hence his yelling merits no cognizance, we may be able to walk out of the incident coolly. Which means, we can manage the stress emanating from the scene appreciably. 

Research indicates that such cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) works better in managing stress. This technique is not limited to the present case alone: whenever you feel yourself spiralling into worst-case scenarios, you better switch your mind elsewhere. Or, stay connected with people who can provide you emotional support by listening to you empathetically. Such diversions are likely to relieve you from the overwhelming stress.

Here, it is in order to quote what lord Krishna said in Gita: “yaḥ sarvatrā nabhisnehaḥs, tat-tat prāpya śubhāśubham, / nā bhinandati na dveṣṭi, tasya prajñā pratiṣṭhitā (2.57)—He who is without affection on any side, who does not rejoice or loathe as he obtains good or evil, his intelligence is firmly set”. Such a man is termed by him as a Sthitaprajña. A Sthitaprajña is not disturbed by the touches of outward things. He does not rejoice over good (adoration from a colleague/boss), nor lament at the bad (yelling of a stranger/boss). So, his/her prajñā— intelligence remains stable. A stable mind can rationally analyse a given situation and wisely steer out of it with the least stress.

We may have to therefore cultivate the state of being Vīta-rāga-bhaya-krodhah—free from attachment, fear and anger (Gita 2.56)—as CBT for managing stress. Are you wondering: Easier said than done? But then, is there any alternative remedy?

**

 

 

Where Are We Heading?

Day by day it is becoming increasingly shuddering to pick up the newspaper and read it in the quietude of the dawn.

“A 16-year-old girl was stabbed multiple times and bludgeoned to death in northwest Delhi allegedly by a 20-year-old person in full public view on Sunday”, states the Hindu of May 30, 2023.

The irony of the whole catastrophe was: It happened in a densely populated and busy lane. And someone could even capture the incident on video which went viral on social media.

It had shown the accused “stabbing her more than 20 times and then attacking her head with stones, while passers-by watched, without trying to stop him”.

According to “the CCTV footage the incident took place around 8.45 pm” and the police got the information only around 9.35 pm” because of which, “the body remained on the street for nearly an hour”.

Unfortunately, the irony didn’t end there! This heinous crime stirred up “sharp political reactions”, says Hindu:  Chief Minister of Delhi tweeted urging “L- G sir … do something”. The Delhi BJP President tweeted: “It is regrettable that the Chief Minister is trying to portray the brutal killing … as a law-and-order issue, whereas it is a case of love jihad”.

How have we become so apathetic? How are we to explain this social and cultural malaise that has afflicted us? Yesterday, it was somebody chopping a woman and storing her pieces in a fridge. Yet another day, a school teacher molested a student. More horrible than it is: a man stabbing his daughter 25 times over a family dispute. What will happen to our society if we let go of the current trend of morality becoming a secondary concern uninterrupted? What would be the damage?

No explanation can perhaps be offered to placate a traumatized mind over these appalling crimes. But we can certainly introspect! This leads me to Alasdair MacIntyre, the philosopher author of the book, After Virtue, who states that “navigating a way out of our current societal malaise requires us to resurrect an older form of morality”. For, the “institutions of morality established in earlier eras have been dismantled, and we are simply performing a mimicry of them”.

He goes on to say that the oldest vice – which Aristotle named pleonexia – actually means “acquisitiveness as such, a quality that modern individualism both in its economic activity and in the character of the consuming aesthete does not perceive to be a vice at all”.  

He further states that modern friendship is mostly based on affection, while Aristotle’s concept of friendship is “a relationship defined in terms of a common allegiance to and a common pursuit of goods”. Aristotle also warns that friendship derived from “mutual utility and mutual pleasure” is likely to be less genuine.

Now, coming to the kind of friendship that one is witnessing of late on the roads in the form of boys and girls walking hand in hand, which rarely gives a feeling that it is driven by “a common allegiance to and a common pursuit of goods”. They appear to be driven more by ‘affection’.

And, once that affection wanes, the vice of ‘acquisitiveness’ and ‘possessiveness’ gets triggered in boys leading to all kinds of beastly acts, perhaps.

This simple truth demands that boys and girls may have to assess the ‘drive’ leading to friendship clinically and only after being confident of the common pursuits allow that to bloom. Else, problems are certain!

In this context, it is perhaps, girls who need to be more cautious in forming friendships. I am airing this feeling at the risk of being labelled a misogynist, for I have often noticed girls alone becoming victims of such vices. I have never heard of a boy ever getting hit by a girl at the termination of such friendships.

Secondly, even if a brave girl attempts to hit a boy, I am doubtful if her physic vis-à-vis a boy will ever support that act. Recall the present incident in which, the poor girl, apparently, could not even run away from the boy who was stabbing her—perhaps, such was the overpowering strength of the boy.

Thirdly, while discussing matters of this nature, I often get reminded of what that eminent neuroscientist, Dr VS Ramachandran once said: “We are not angels. We are merely sophisticated apes…”

Modern science also tells that there is only 1.2 percent of genetic difference between human beings and chimpanzees. Don’t you think it’s not much of a difference? And, we all know what an angry ape does?

That aside, I also remember to have read somewhere a scientist saying that biologically we are wired to be angry apes. And imagine if such an angry ape, which is driven by the vice of acquisitiveness, fails to own up to what it is striving to possess, how mad it would turn and do whatnot.

It doesn’t however mean that all boys are bad, certainly not. Nevertheless, girls, being what they are, perhaps, need to be assertive right from initiating a friendship and always be on guard: “never to take the obvious for granted” and be prudently alert not to become a victim of such atrocities. For, protection from the onslaught of socially-deviant prima facie rests with the ‘self’.

This incident also makes another subtle pointer: When it comes to the common good of the society, political parties engaged in governance need to ignore their identities and particularly, in matters of this nature where the common good of the society calls for resurrecting morality in the society, and work collectively towards the goal. Indeed, this calls for a sane debate across society …

Financial Planning Makes All the Difference

Gone are the days, when jobs were for life: once joined in a job, he or she enjoyed the benefit of certainty in earning a fixed sum every month with of course, intermittent raises in pay outs/statuses, till one is told, “You are retired”. Even after retirement, the erstwhile employer used to ensure that the ex-employee’s livelihood is guaranteed through pension payment.

During the last two-and-a-half decades of liberalized economic environment, the employment scenario in the technology-driven market has so drastically changed that no one is sure today how long the present job would continue, when one would be on the bench, and when one will be handed over a pink slip along with slim envelope. Even the very nature of jobs has changed drastically: they became highly amorphous, calling for knowledge from different disciplines and the ability to work simultaneously in different ways.

The cumulative effect of these two developments on the present crop of employable youth is: an all-around uncertainty, which is traumatizing to an individual both psychologically and financially. At times it is even reaching tragic proportions: “Harini, a junior software developer [from Hyderabad] committed suicide by hanging herself from a ceiling fan after her company announced lay-offs”, reported Hindu on November 21.  

This is soon going to be a story of the past, for the future is emerging still more threateningly. The technology-driven world of today is more frightening even to imagine: Cars that drive themselves, machines that read reports and even offer algorithm-driven responses, diagnosis and prescription of drugs by machines and all such manifestations of new forms of automation in the offing, though sure to increase productivity and improve our lives, are all set to displace human labor.

The emergence of these disruptive technologies is sure to alter the very nature of peoples’ occupations: there would be more jobs lost, more jobs changed and perhaps, new jobs created. This transition is going to be more challenging to the workforce than what it has hitherto faced. These disruptive changes will even challenge our current educational system and training methods too. And the most important demand would be: income support to the workforce caught in the cross-currents of Artificial Intelligence-driven automation. 

Simply put, the digital future that is in the offing can cause painful consequences for the workers, for the economy would certainly take time to come to terms with them. Secondly, although economists continue to argue that historically an equilibrium between the supply and demand of jobs in labor markets has always been reached, technology experts are arguing that this time things will be quite different, for they will affect multiple sectors of the economy simultaneously.

All this is going to challenge the stability and sustainability of the individual lives. Now the question is: how to protect the interests of workforce during this transition? And who has to manage it? No doubt, at the macro-level, policymakers will definitely work towards smoothening this transition by initiating necessary policy measures. But that would not suffice. Prima facie, it is the worker at the micro-level who has to brace himself—plan himself to weather the storm. There is yet another important development of the recent past that merits our attention: our average life expectancy has gone up appreciably warranting stretching of one’s monetary resources for many more years than in the past.

The good news is: individuals can manage this transition with a few positive changes in their life style. The starting point is to build confidence in oneself to plan for facing the AI-threat squarely. And the first tool that comes handy to weather the storm is: personal financial planning. For, it helps one in managing today’s cash flows to achieve one’s own economic satisfaction by affording a feeling of security for the future too. Importantly, such financial planning minimizes the stress in life.

The first rule of such planning is: define your life goals clearly, estimate the inflation-adjusted requirement to meet the set goals and then set aside the required amount regularly to fund the goals. This, of course, calls for questioning one’s current consumption pattern: Is it meant for material satisfaction? Or, for delivering ‘psychic gratification’? Incidentally, most of the new-age Indians are today found looking for more of pre-programmed ‘experiences’ than for material satisfaction. So, if one has to navigate through these conflicting demands safely, one must practice paying first for the accomplishment of set goals and use the balance income alone to meet the current expenses. It is always desirable to involve one’s spouse in the financial planning exercise.

All may not be good at investing the set aside sum to maximise the returns and also ensure safety and security of the principle and returns thereof. Such individuals can take professional guidance from wealth planners from banks and other financial services providers. Identifying a good financial adviser is, of course, a challenge by itself. Enquiries with friends may pave the way for selecting one, but once selected, you must take periodic performance review of the adviser. If such analysis warrants changing the adviser, you must exercise your right immediately.  Do not hesitate to put as many questions as you have to the adviser and be not satisfied until you feel you have been answered alright. And, in course of time, you may yourself become a wise investor. But all this involves cost.

Obviously, a man of modest savings cannot afford such luxury. But he need not lose heart. One safe way of investing for a man of modest savings is opting for SIPs of Mutual Funds, for they are professionally managed.  Even prior to that, whether one is a man of modest savings or of high worth, everyone need to take note of the uncertainties of life and secure it from the associated risk – the risk of premature death. One option that immediately strikes the mind is: insurance. Get insured for a sum that enables the family to maintain its present standard of living even in the absence of the bread-winner at a very early age on a long-term basis to encash the benefit of low premium payments to service the policy.      

Lastly, one must always remember the two underlying principles of financial planning: One, that execution of a plan is as important as planning itself; and two, that not planning means planning for a certain failure.

Good Luck!

It’s the ‘Persistence’ That Makes All the Difference!

The other day, I sat with a friend of high calibre in a restaurant sipping coffee… and conversing on all sundry. Suddenly our conversation veered to the novel project that he had taken up recently. As the conversation advanced,  to my utter surprise I came to know that he had given it up for he felt that he was reaching nowhere.

That at once reminded me of what Heidi Grant Halvorson, the author of the book, Succeed, stated:  It’s often seen that people of even high calibre/with high degree of IQ giving up a task the moment they feel that what they are pursuing is a bit difficult to achieve. In short, what she meant was: we often fail to achieve our goals because: we give them up too soon that too, for all the wrong reasons. She went on saying that on the other hand, we also see people with even modest abilities fighting with the venture that they have taken up till they succeed/accomplish the goal.

So, what matters for accomplishing a goal is not the ‘innate ability’ of an individual, —of course, if at all there is anything like innate ability—but ‘persistence’, persistence with the task till it is executed. As Confucius said, one needs to be diligent: once chosen a task, one must devote his/her effort for a long time to succeed at it. 

But then, the big question is: How to be diligent? How one could stay put with the task for a long haul? And, can it be learnt/cultivated?

The answer is: “Yes”, says Halvorson. It means, we can cultivate persistence by watching how successful people hang on to their tasks till accomplished. Some such traits are:

Persistent people hold different kind of beliefs: It is the selection of the very goal that makes all the difference, for selection of a right goal would automatically enhance the chances of your sticking to it for long. For instance, if a lean and lanky fellow attempts to enact the character of Julius Caesar in the play, he will be sure to end up in disappointment. Nevertheless, he can certainly become a good stage actor, of course, enacting such roles that his personality can carry forward, with determination and preparation.  Ability to act can certainly be improved with right effort. 

Secondly, some people are in the habit of explaining their failure thus: “I am unlucky” or “I am not smart.” As against this common approach, successful people are found to look at their failure as an indication that they need to put in more labour. For them failure means:  “you need to work harder.” And such reasoning automatically enhances the scope for your persisting with the task for longer.  

Persistent people are gritty: A gritty individual looks at achievement as a marathon. And psychologists say that this grit is heightened when goals are chosen autonomously or when they are pursued for their own sake.  When a goal matches with one’s own preferences, values and interests, it tempts the individual to put in extra labour and also pursue it till the goal is achieved, even if it takes longer time than usual. For instance, look at the toil that a sportswoman like Sindhu, badminton player, puts up to achieve a trophy at an international event. Day in and day out, both morning and evening … come rains or simmering heat of the summer or shivering cold of the winter, she subjects herself to rigours training under the analytical eyes of the coach. Practices the game with singular devotion till her ability matches the expectation of her coach and the demands of the trophy. It is the gritty perseverance with the training schedule and practise of the game to the exclusion of every other personal cravings that ultimately made her win the laurels. Similarly, it is the hope and confidence that one holds towards the accomplishment of the goal that makes one gritty-enough to persist with the task till success is achieved.  And, such people often proclaim, “I finish whatever I begin”.

And, now the question is:  what prevented you and me to declare the same? Perhaps, “nothing except our inertia”, says psychologists. For, they believe that everyone can improve his/her ability with training and can achieve goals when they steadfastly pursue them.  

They know, they can’t have all of them: Just as it is not right to abandon a goal simply because you think you have no ability to perform it, it is too bad to accept everything and anything that comes in the way for your execution.  Simply put, you don’t need to be afraid of abandoning a goal—like that of a  lean and lanky fellow with a feeble voice attempting to play the role of Caesar —when you sincerely believe that its accomplishment is practically impossible.

They know when the Price of the accomplishment is not worth paying: When you think that though the task is to your taste and is accomplishable, yet it would be perfectly alright to abandon it if its accomplishment is too painful, or you need to give up too much for its accomplishment. To put it otherwise, if the cost of accomplishment is too high, and it is not worth-affording, it would be perfectly alright to abandon a task half the way even.   

They also know when to give up a goal: At times, giving up a goal sounds more sensible than pursuing it endlessly. And there are two  very good reasons for such abandoning a goal: one, resources are limited and so in the interest of the important goals, you may have to give up some; and two, change in circumstances may make pursuit of a goal more unpleasant.

So, in the ultimate analysis, what matters for being successful in accomplishing goals is: hard work and persistence.  As a lyricist once said, “mohabbat karne waale gham se ghabraayaa nahin karte”, successful people don’t get frightened by the enormity of the task, come what may they hang on to it till they accomplish it.  

The World Health Day: Depression

“If you know someone who has not been themselves lately, please go and have a conversation with them and if required guide them towards help”, says World Health Organization as a part of its World Health Day celebration set to Friday, 7th April.

Learning that the abductor of Sita went southwards, Rama along with Lakshmana, arrives at Lake Pampa to strike friendship with Sugriva and seek his help in locating Sita’s whereabouts. On arriving at and seeing the magnificent Pampa Lake with its crystal-clear waters, with fully bloomed lotuses along with many trees around it, Rama with his senses already oppressed by virtue of Sita’s abduction, bursts into tears. Drawing the attention of Lakshmana to the beauty of the spring around Pampa Lake, Rama pines thus: “The fire of spring with clusters of Asoka flowers as its charcoal, its copper-colored tender leaves as flames, the buzz of bees as its crackle will, as if, consume me” (4.1.29).

He goes on to lament thus: “O Saumitri! My life is meaningless if I cannot see my beloved Sita with her delicate eyelashes, beautiful locks of hair, and her sweet voice.” Drawing the attention of Lakshmana at the (male) deer happily roaming here and there together with the female deer on the colorful mountain slopes, Rama wails: “Separated from the fawn-eyed Vaidehi, this sight fills my heart with agony.” He goes on lamenting, “O Saumitri! I can be alive and happy if Sita of slender waist enjoys here with me the sweet breeze of Pampa”; “If righteous and truthful Janaka enquires about Sita’s wellbeing in the assembly of people, what am I to speak?”; “She followed me, O Lakshmana! As I was deposed from the kingdom … Now helpless, how can I live without her?”; “Unable to see her beautiful, face with auspicious eyes like fragrant lotuses, I feel (so) depressed”; “O Prince, what can I tell the high-minded Kausalya at Ayodhya when she asks the whereabouts of her daughter-in-law?”; “You may go to Ayodhya, O Lakshmana, to see our loving brother, Bharata. It is not possible for me to survive without the daughter of Janaka” (4.1.30-113).

This kind of a response to an unpleasant event that has happened—abduction of Sita, wife of Rama, by Ravana in the instant case—is what is called in medical terminology as ‘depression’. It is painful as is resonated in the voice of Rama. For, in depression, one encounters a feeling of separation from other people and a loss of emotional contact with them accompanied by a sense of aloneness and utter isolation. Secondary to the loss of interest in what is going on around oneself, the world appears to the victim to be dull, drab, dead, uninteresting and unexciting place. Cumulatively, they result in narrowing and lessening of one’s sense of oneself, the constriction and diminution of oneself as a person. This helplessness and inefficiency, particularly as mental powers are concerned, everything becomes an effort, concentration becomes poor and logical thought becomes difficult. As a result, thoughts become gloomy and melancholy as is reflected in the lamentations of Rama. Most of us encounter such feelings particularly, when we encounter events of sad note like absence/loss of the loved one, and it is a part of life normally faced by many of us but it would become pretty disturbing when they hold on to an individual and take a while to go away—to be clinically precise, if they are present for at least two weeks—for it then turns into a disease, depression.

Depression is more than just the feeling of sadness; it is a medical condition where most people end up in a realm: “A night without a morning / A trouble without end / A life of bitter scorning / A world without a friend”. This development has already assumed the status of a disease. But the good news is: with the right treatment and most importantly the right support, depression can be fully treated.

Interestingly, psychiatrists say that when one goes through depression, the constant presence of a loved person—who is understanding, supportive and nurturing—is not only reassuring but also often proves to be therapeutic. Modern research also established that people in caring relationships run lower risk of depression, and even if depression strikes them, they usually have a better chance of coming out of it than those without such relationships. Psychiatrists also advise that when one is feeling low, it makes a great sense to share one’s thoughts and feelings with their trusted one, for: one, it serves a cathartic purpose and thereby lessens the intensity of depressed mood; and two, such sharing affords the comfort that one doesn’t have to deal with it all alone.

Incidentally, this is what we witness happening in the scene cited above from the Ramayana. As Rama shared his experiencing a deep sense of purposelessness and loneliness with Lakshmana, his brother, he appealingly chips in to revive Rama’s spirits by exhorting him thus: “O Rama, the foremost of men, control yourself. Be blessed. People who are pure at heart do not feel depressed at heart.” He then draws his attention to infallible words:             

“smṛtvā viyōgajaṅ duḥkhaṅ tyaja snēhaṅ priyē janē. 
atisnēhapariṣvaṅgādvartirārdrāpi dahyatē ৷৷  (4.1.116)

—Remembrance of loved ones causes sorrow. Even a wet cotton wick gets burnt by embracing excessive oil. Hence abandon grief.”

He then nudges him towards action saying: “O noble prince! Be blessed. Maintain composure. Without making any effort it is not possible to achieve the objective and recoup loss”; “O revered Sire, enterprise is supreme strength. Nothing is difficult in this world for one who is up and doing”; and “pardon grief, give up emotion. You are a great soul. You are not aware of your great accomplishments” (4.1.115-123). Having thus been persuaded by Lakshmana, Rama, shedding his grief and delusion and regaining his usual composure, moves forward in search of Sita. Incidentally, Rama suffers such bouts of depression subsequent to that too but at each time, Lakshmana, his loving brother, always puts him back on the rails with encouraging words and supportive action.

WHO’s statistics indicate that over five crore Indians suffer from depression. But the unfortunate fact is: 85% of such people are reported to be not seeking medical treatment. It is important that these people understand that depression is not a reflection of any weakness in one’s individuality or flaw in the character but a medical condition triggered by a combination of factors such as genetic, biological and environmental and importantly muster courage to seek medical intervention.

Now the big question is: How to know that one is suffering from depression? As already seen above, when you come across a person with some of the following symptoms: difficulty in sleeping or sleeping more than usual, changes in appetite, withdrawal from social interaction, loss of interest in things that used to be pleasurable, lack of energy, difficulty concentrating or remembering things, feeling worthless and helpless, etc. point towards depression. Incidentally, most of the new moms experience “baby blues,” and they usually pass a week or two after delivery, but if symptoms persist or worsen, it could be postpartum depression. Depression can also be noticed even among the children. Depressed children try to avoid school, complain of feeling ill or become clingy with parents. Coming to adolescents, they turn sulky and often defiant. People with depression typically avoid treatment, for “The depression itself makes them less likely to get the treatment too” and that is where “Family and friends have a big influence on getting the person help,” says Dr Kuntz, an Assistant Professor of clinical psychiatry at Ohio State University.

Normally, it is the trauma of the loss of loved one, financial troubles, loss of job, etc., which are considered as the main triggers of depression. Some depressions are also caused by physical factors: changes in the level of biogenic amines in the brain and disturbances of water and electrolytes balance or from a condition called hypoglycaemia, etc. But if one suspects that there is an event in one’s life that in fact started depression, then it could obviously be more out of any one of the following psychological factors: ‘Self-blame’—constantly criticizing oneself, hating oneself, thinking that he/she is the worst human being alive, simply put, blame yourself persistently and you have a depression coming on; two, ‘Self-pity—to feel sorry for yourself when your kindness is not returned by others with kindness, putting long face to get sympathy from others, think the world is unfair to you, etc., and three, ‘Other pity’—identifying with the endless troubles of people around you. Now the big question is: Why do we think at all on these lines? Dr David D Burns says that owing to certain self-defeating thought patterns we end up in such ‘cognitive distortions’—the way in which one’s mind convinces one of something that is not really true. These inaccurate thoughts reinforce negative thinking/emotions that ultimately make one feel bad about oneself.

To overcome these negative thoughts, Burns suggests some provocative positive insights as a replacement for the negative thoughts: One, remember feelings are not facts! They only mirror one’s thinking process. When one’s thoughts make no sense, the resulting feelings will become just as absurd. Two, as Lakshmana pleaded with Rama, believe that one can cope with any grief. When one eliminates distortions, coping with the real problem becomes less painful. Three, not to base one’s opinion of one’s worth on one’s achievements. For, self-worth based on accomplishments is pseudo-esteem, not the genuine one. For, one cannot base one’s self-worth on looks, talents, fame or fortune. The central philosophy of this cognitive therapy is self-esteem. Burns says that self-esteem can be viewed as one’s decision to treat oneself like a beloved friend. Just as one treats a guest to make him feel comfortable, one must treat oneself similarly. Burns advises that one should do this all the time!

So, what is important is: accept depression as an ailment and seek medical aid immediately, for it can be cured for ever, while the kith and kin support the depressed rationally and with empathy for quick recovery—simply put be a Lakshmana to your depressed bandhu….