… Vīta-rāga-bhaya-krodhah (Gīta 2.56)

The other day I had the honour of making a presentation to the faculty and students of NICMAR University, Pune on the topic: Values and Ethics: Revisiting Indian Knowledge System. 

As I hurriedly concluded my presentation drawing the attention of the audience to a verse from Yajurveda, “… may we look on one another with the eye of a friend” (xxvi-18), a young lady from the front row of the auditorium posed a question: “some people, for no valid reason, shout at you and you can’t give them back but it causes a lot of stress. How to handle that stress? Am I to simply accept it? But it causes a lot of stress … a lot of stress.”

I could see the pain of it writ large in her face. I did respond to her question, though hurriedly. Nevertheless, we shall now examine it in detail.

First things first: Let us first understand what stress is. Stress is the body’s response to a stressor. A stressor is a trigger that may cause one to experience physical, emotional, or mental distress and pressure. In the instant case, the stressor is: the uncivilized behaviour of the person who yelled at the lady for no valid reason. This rude behaviour triggered a feeling of being overwhelmed and she could not cope with the pressures caused by it.

A stressful situation triggers a cascade of stress hormones which produce well-orchestrated physiological changes in our body. A stressful incident makes the heart pound and breathing quicken. Muscles tense up. Beads of sweat appear.

This kind of reaction to a stressful event is also known as the “fight-or-flight” response. For, it evolved as a survival mechanism. It enables people to react quickly to life-threatening situations—activates one to fight the threat off or flee to safety.

Unfortunately, there is a flip side to it: the body can also overreact to stressors that are not life-threatening such as the yelling of somebody at you, traffic jams, deadlines at work, etc.

Over the years, researchers have learned how and why these reactions occur. When a person encounters a threat, say noticed a cobra on the path, the eyes send the information to the amygdala—the part of the brain that handles emotional processing. Interpreting the images and perceiving them as dangerous, amygdala instantly sends a distress signal to the hypothalamus.

In turn, hypothalamus communicates the threat to the rest of the body through the autonomic nervous system, which consists of two components: One, sympathetic nervous system that functions as a gas pedal in a car, and two, parasympathetic nervous system that functions as a break.

On receipt of a message from hypothalamus, sympathetic nervous system by providing a burst of energy to the body, triggers a fight or flight response to the perceived threat. Once the threat is passed, parasympathetic nervous system calms the body by promoting a “rest and digest” response.

On receipt of a distress signal through sympathetic nervous system, adrenal glands also get activated. They respond by pumping the hormone epinephrine into the bloodstream. The circulation of epinephrine in the body brings a number of physiological changes: heart beats faster, pulse rate and blood pressure go up. Breathing becomes more rapid. Epinephrine also triggers the release of sugar into the bloodstream. All these changes happen so fast that without being aware of them, we even jump out of the path of the cobra well before we realize what we are doing.

Once the surge of epinephrine subsides, the hypothalamous activates the second channel of the response system: HPA axis. It consists of hypothalamus, pituitary gland and adrenal gland. This axis aids the brain to keep the ‘gas pedal’ pressed down. In the event of brain continuing to perceive the threat, hypothalamus releases corticotropin-release hormone. Travelling to pituitary gland, it will trigger the release of adrenocorticotropic hormone. This, in turn, travels to adrenal glands and nudges them to release cortisol. Thus, the body remains on high alert.

Once the threat passes, cortisol levels fall and the parasympathetic nervous system applies brake and dampens the stress response. But many people fail to apply brakes on stress. This leads to chronic low level of stress, which is likely to cause health problems at a later date. Persistent release of epinephrine damages blood vessels. It also increases blood pressure. In turn, the risk of heart attacks or strokes stand enhanced. Increased levels of cortisol may also lead to overweight.

Fortunately, we can learn the techniques of managing stress responses. Psychologists say that stress is produced not by events themselves but by one’s reaction to events (stressors). It is precisely because of this that we see people reacting to a given stressor differently. 

For instance, let us take the lady’s problem of somebody yelling at her for her no fault as an example and see how two people react to the same problem differently. The man who gives least importance to such yelling believing that it was the habit of the yeller (yo tho pagal hai, aise chillata hai) and deserves no attention, simply walks away from it. On the other hand, the man who takes it as personal insult cannot but brood over it: “Of all the people why to me? I behave so soberly, never tread on others’ toes, I speak so gently, and yet why this man yell at me? That too, in front of so many?” If you keep on agonising like that over what had happened for days together, your hypothalamus will keep HPA axis active —‘the gas pedal’ remains pressed down. Which means, release of hormones into bloodstream continuously, which in turn, keeps the body on high alert. This results in chronic stress that can later lead to cardiovascular problems.

Instead, realising the fact that it is our thoughts that influence our emotions, and it is these emotions that influence hormonal secretions and our behaviour, if we could reframe our thoughts about the stressor—rude behaviour/yelling, etc.—we can certainly help ourselves in reducing feelings of stress. Suppose in the instant case, if we could think of the yeller as a man with no culture and hence his yelling merits no cognizance, we may be able to walk out of the incident coolly. Which means, we can manage the stress emanating from the scene appreciably. 

Research indicates that such cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) works better in managing stress. This technique is not limited to the present case alone: whenever you feel yourself spiralling into worst-case scenarios, you better switch your mind elsewhere. Or, stay connected with people who can provide you emotional support by listening to you empathetically. Such diversions are likely to relieve you from the overwhelming stress.

Here, it is in order to quote what lord Krishna said in Gita: “yaḥ sarvatrā nabhisnehaḥs, tat-tat prāpya śubhāśubham, / nā bhinandati na dveṣṭi, tasya prajñā pratiṣṭhitā (2.57)—He who is without affection on any side, who does not rejoice or loathe as he obtains good or evil, his intelligence is firmly set”. Such a man is termed by him as a Sthitaprajña. A Sthitaprajña is not disturbed by the touches of outward things. He does not rejoice over good (adoration from a colleague/boss), nor lament at the bad (yelling of a stranger/boss). So, his/her prajñā— intelligence remains stable. A stable mind can rationally analyse a given situation and wisely steer out of it with the least stress.

We may have to therefore cultivate the state of being Vīta-rāga-bhaya-krodhah—free from attachment, fear and anger (Gita 2.56)—as CBT for managing stress. Are you wondering: Easier said than done? But then, is there any alternative remedy?

**

 

 

Hi! Cultivate ‘Hope’, the Vital Spark of Life

Once, Martin Luther King said: “Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” “Yes”, it is the sole driving force behind mankind’s dreaming, planning, and its very existence. In fact, no one can survive without it.

As we all know, life is, after all, a contest of light against darkness, joy against despair. Yet, all of us do hope, most of the time, for it is perhaps natural to man. Hope is as natural to mankind as sprouting is for seeds. Indeed, as Samuel Johnson said, "hope" is "perhaps the chief happiness which this world affords". 

Every morning is a new beginning and most of us spring out of the bed dreaming of a pretty day. Hope is written large on earth and sky and all that breathes. 

Hope, though natural and vital for mankind, could as well get exhausted, as we grow. And that is where we need to regain hope by “hoping for the moment". This necessitates that one has to summon hope and learn to look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour—the promise of a good meal, a rise in pay check etc. 

Hope is a frame of mind or a climate of heart that helps nurture a positive orientation towards work/life. Such a positive orientation transforms the given labor into an entity of love and to that extent performance stands enhanced. 

Hope alone enables one to fight against odds and realize one’s full potential. It indeed strengthens our ability to execute a given task excellently. It is often noticed that average people strengthened by faith do perform extraordinary deeds. That’s why, one has to fondly summon “hope” to “lead us from triumph to triumph in the long journey of life”. 

A man driven by hope attempts to analyse the situation with greater objectivity. Realistic analysis, exploration-insights, problem solving efforts are his/her hallmark. Instead of being overwhelmed with disappointment and losing interest in work, he, “learning from mistakes” moves forward with a detached look at disappointment. 

Hope, indeed, enables one avoid falling into the trap of disappointment and its after effects such as alienation, rebellion, complaint, or abdication of action and helpless-anger. This approach automatically generates a positive feel in him/her. He/she asserts: “my identity does not wax or wane with each promotion or non-promotion and I realize that I cannot always predict the outcome of my efforts.” 

This frame of mind leads to an understanding, appreciation, and acceptance that results matter but “I shall not mortgage my existence to it”. One learns to accept that all factors do not necessarily be under one’s control. 

When one looks at “disappointment” from this frame of mind, it appears as a transient phenomenon. It enables one to stop for a while to understand “WHY” and move on to develop ways and means of facing and coping with them and similar other situations in various contexts—at work, in the family and in the social context—without ascribing hidden motives to self and others. 

Such a positive orientation—of being on the “hope-cycle”—builds up confidence that helps one carry on, no matter what happens. Confidence helps one recover quickly from negative experiences. A confident person uses various strategies to get up and put himself together quickly. 

Such confident people talk to themselves gently, see some humor in their situation, refuse to see the situation as a total disaster, do not waste time fumbling alone and readily ask others for the help they need. 

They refuse to endlessly fret and brood over what has happened but focus more on learning from mistakes instead of feeling ashamed of them. These humane ways of dealing with “falls/disappointments” help one to put the pieces together with much less effort and bounce back into action. 

That’s what even Lakshmana, watching dejected Rama lamenting about his absent wife at Pampa Lake, nudges him to get up and courageously search for Sita, saying: “Utsāhō balavān ārya! ... 'O revered Sire, enterprise is supreme strength. Nothing is difficult in this world for one who is up and doing; “utsāhavantaḥ puruṣā nāvasīdanti karmasu…(Vālmīki Rāmāyaṇa 4.1.121, 122)—Enterprising men will never be disappointed in their mission”. And, as you know, enterprise and entrepreneurship are the by-products of ‘hope’. 

So, let us cultivate hope! And, make life more enjoyable, fruitful …. 

Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.

It’s that time of the festive cheer when people often tend to make resolutions, of course, more as a habit.  And how could the beginning of 2019 be different!

It’s an annual ritual, perhaps, driven more by the undying craving for refining oneself. Yet, we often won’t see them through. They rather sprout more to flaunt than to execute, perhaps. Now the question is: Could this year’s resolutions be made differently?  Say, like adopting a resolution which is more realistic, may be more implementable, and within the reach of oneself. For, no one can afford to ignore one’s desire to become that which one admires most.

Well, if you say, “Why not?”, then I wish to share something interesting  that I have read with you. To begin with put your life on pause for a while, just sit quiet, take deep breath and reconnect with yourself. Once you feel being with yourself, reflect on the week that just passed off by putting a straight question to yourself: “What happened in the whole of the week?”

As one reflects on the week that just passed off—thoughtfully looks back at his/her experiences—with the question: “What happened?” , one is likely to end up with the following results:

i.             Some acts—what we did/said in the week—appear as quite pleasing to oneself.

ii.       There would be some incidents of which one is rather neutral about what had happened—there is no good or bad in them except that something just happened.

iii.          Looking at some other deeds, one realizes that he/she did something wrong or poorly.

Now, this result—classification of past deeds into good, neutral and wrong—can be used as learning-points for conducting oneself in the future. For that to happen, what one need to do is pretty simple: 

I       Pick all those actions that one thought as pretty good and examine how one could repeat them again and again in the future.

ii.        Coming to the second result i.e., neutral, one needs to analyse them as to how one can make them better in the future.

Iii      Moving to the last result that has shown one’s actions as wrong, one should question himself/herself as to what should he/she do to make it right next time? Further, in all such outcomes, it’s perhaps more desirable first to accept one’s committing the wrong and then straight go to the person effected by his/her such wrong deed and say something to the effect: “I am sorry, it’s my fault. I sincerely apologize for whatever harm I would have caused.” Secondly, one should guard himself/herself from repeating such wrong deeds. 

Thus, there emerges from this simple reflection-question—“what happened?”—two benefits to its practitioner: one, one could see one’s actions as they really happened rather than how one had wished they had happened; and two, use the outcome as learning points for future conduct.  

Next, as a sequel to this reflection, one may take up ‘discernment’ as the next exercise. Discernment is nothing but going deeper into what has happened with the question: “Why did it happen?” This question takes one to the very root of one’s past deeds. A focused meditation on this question i.e., “Why I did it?”/“Why I said it?” throws open new insights that might have not struck to mind when one actually did it. Such an exercise is sure to bring out something highly insightful. For, it explains the underlying ‘why’ of one’s wrong deeds. 

True, this new knowledge cannot be used for correcting the past deed, but can certainly be used to better one’s future performance, isn’t it?  Yes, it can be provided we are willing to put the new knowledge into practice. Which is why, we should strongly determine to put every such learning into practice. Then only the whole exercise becomes meaningful. Such constant acquisition of new knowledge and willingly putting it to use in our day to day transactions with the society is sure to make our lives better than yesterday.

That said, I must say here that it is always pretty inconvenient to have an appointment with oneself for introspection. But once put into practice, the experience of the benefits flowing out of such an exercise is certain to make one to go all out for it. Its sustained practice enables one live a better life. And to end this on a glimmering hope, let me borrow the sumptuous words of Philip Larkin: “…Last year is dead, … / Begin afresh, afresh, afresh.”

Happy New Year!

(Reference: Dan Coughlin (2018) The Tremendous Value of Personal Reflection and Discernment, EE, Vol XXI, No.4)

Parenting Is Not a Child’s Play

Parenting shall basically aim at helping children to separate from parents and in the process help them become independent. This is easier said than done, for parents, more particularly Indian parents, are always found to be eager to do everything for their children. In the process, they would think, analyse, and indeed work for their children, ignoring the fact that it is the child who has to perform all these deeds.  

This obviously makes the child less competent to catch up with the demands of life when he happened to be on his own. To come out of this over-protecting syndrome, parents may cultivate habits, such as —

Allow the children to make choices—it is a common sight in most of the families that right from dusk to dawn, it is either the father or the mother who decides for the child. Even in mundane matters like what dress to put on, what and when to eat ... all are decided by the mother. This unwittingly generates ill-will among the children for they are not given an opportunity to have their pick.

Instead, if a mother picks up two sets of dresses and questions the child: “Which color dress—red or blue—you want to put on? This obviously gives an option to the children to have his own choice giving him a feeling of asserting his own choice.

  

Show respect for child’s struggle—allow a child to struggle on his own for an answer, encourage him to fail but not to give it up. Doesn't matter, in the process if he wastes time, energy and even resources…. For, that’s an invaluable education. Watching him with a smile, you may subtly give him leads… or put such questions, thinking about which, might lead him to stumble on the answer for the problem on his hand. Even this if handled discreetly, leads to better results.  

Don’t harass the child with too many questions—if you keep on questioning a child,

no matter whether it is a routine issue or something special, they get annoyed. And no wonder, in the process if they give indifferent answers …. And remember this ultimately spoils the healthy atmosphere in the family.

Don’t rush to answer questions—don’t show eagerness to answer all their questions… this can never make them realize that they can find answers for many of their problems on their own. Put a counter question that makes him to think and in the process lands with an answer of his own.

Encourage children to use sources outside the home—the world is not an aligned place. There would be occasions when a child needs to seek help from others. So, children must be encouraged to seek information needed for their decision making even from sources outside the home. It obviously widens their canvas.... their understanding of the life around the home.... and its incongruence with what he had perhaps seen in his home. This cultivates the courage to look in all directions and seek help from wherever it is available in furtherance of his/her life.

Be Aware, You Are an Unspoken Example—you may be silent… You may not even communicate with your children. But don’t forget, they watch you—indeed, they are constantly watching you. And learn a lot from your silent communication. So, guard yourself while you are with your children from indecent behaviour.

Inject hope into life—much of the pleasure of life lies in dreaming, fantasizing, anticipating and planning. Encouraging children to cultivate these traits help them in looking at life in great hope. Hope being the spark of life, generates action. Action ends in results. Results—could be as anticipated or simply far from it. But a child learns to enjoy his very endeavor. And also, learns to own the results. It gives him courage to keep working on it till the desired results are obtained. It tends to give pleasure. Results mean success of the endeavour. Success breeds success.

The journey of parenting is a bitter sweet undertaking. Parents love and encourage their children to become well balanced independent human beings to lead a life of their own confidently. But on the day they head towards it, often, a tinge of sadness overwhelms parents. But that’s parenting! 

Interview for a Job: How to Handle (Part - II)

It is often noticed that in spite of having the right set of qualifications, technical skills and experience, candidates fail to impress the interviewer. The reasons could be many, but a proper preparation for the interview is sure to help a candidate to impress the employer better. Some of the key approaches that enable a candidate to fare better at the interview are:

Learn About the Company Beforehand

It is desirable to know about a company and its operating practices well before attending the interview. A visit to its website coupled with a little bit of market research gives an overview of a company’s activities, its financial muscle, and status in the market. But the most desirable approach is to have a dialog with its current employees, for they are the most reliable source of information. A friendly chat with them helps

• One know their opinion about the company.
• Two, it enables one to know its cultural ethos. 
• Three, one could make a reasonable guess as to what kind of people the company might be looking for.

Pay Due Attention to the Application Form/CV

Application form—still in vogue in traditional establishments—or CV is a marketing tool that summarizes one’s employment qualifications. It is indeed the very first instrument that enables an employer to shortlist the candidates. Some applicants tend to treat the application/CV cavalierly . But in simple terms, a CV must demonstrate that the applicant not only knows what he/she wants in a job but that one has also taken time to learn what the employer wants from the candidate. 

Here it is important to know the difference between a resume and a CV:

• A resume is a one or two page document that gives a brief narration about one’s education and experience. It must be written in such a way that it should advertise everything of a candidate that is salable. 
• A CV, on the other hand, includes over and above what is furnished in a resume, one’s teaching and research experience, publications, research grants/fellowships obtained, professional affiliations, awards and all other information relevant to the job for which an application is being made.        

By all means, generality must be avoided. Remember, it is the application/resume/CV that sets the tone and direction of the interview. Hence, it deserves the utmost attention of every seeker of employment.

Personal Presentation

An interview is a means to check mutual suitability for a job. So, as one enters the interview room, one should

•  walk forward confidently, 
•  body straight, and 
•   head up.

Smile and be prepared to shake hands briefly, but positively, if the interviewer offers to shake. Sit straight, but in a relaxed comfortable position, hands preferably on one’s lap.

It merits dressing up normally and formally, but not unusually, for any extraordinary attempt tends to make one feel uncomfortable. In an interview, one has to be at ease to attentively listen and respond to the questions intelligently, and for this to happen, it is critical that one has to dress up normally.

As soon as one is settled in the chair, he/she shall maintain good eye contact with the interviewers. Secondly, it is desirable to always remain calm and collected. If the candidate is seen as going to pieces, there is every likelihood of the interviewer’s thinking that he/she cannot handle stress. 

Be an Early Bird

To be late to the interview is the sure way of mucking up the interview, for a latecomer is viewed as either a careless candidate or a poor planner. And both are equally damaging for the candidate’s interest. Secondly, by being late to the interview one gets tensed up and obviously cannot give his best at the interview. 

Anticipate Questions and Plan Answers

The questions that are usually asked at an interview can be grouped into:

• one, questions meant for testing one’s conceptual skills; 
•  two, questions that are asked to evaluate functional competency; and 
•  three, questions designed to test the personality of the candidate.           

And looking at the kind of job that one has come to give interview, it is possible to visualize the kind of questions that can be asked and to list them down for planning answers and their style of articulation. And importantly, what one must remember while preparing for any interview is: the interviewer is not interested in knowing the candidate’s professional knowledge or what he read about, but is more concerned about knowing whether the candidate has the wherewithal to execute the job better.

Similarly, when it comes to internal promotions in traditional establishments, or for that matter even in modern establishments, what the interviewer would be interested to assess is:

·         not the candidate’s past performance but

·         how suitable he/she is to handle the responsibilities of the new/higher post. 

So, obviously, the questions would focus more on the macro-environment/macro-vision of the discipline that he/she is being picked up to head—say for instance, if it is to head a research division/establishment, questions tend to stay focused on current lines of research in the major globally acclaimed research institutes, the future direction, mentoring domestic scholars towards that kind of research, constraints, if any, for pursuing research in those lines and how to overcome them, etc., plus assessing one’s ability to adapt to the new role of leading professional teams, inspiring them to aim high and the ability to initiate and manage change. Any preparation worked out on these lines is more likely to ensure that the candidate is not surprised by unexpected questions—at least they can be minimized.

The Most and the Commonest Tricky Question

“Tell us about yourself” is the obvious opening question for all kinds of interviews. It is perhaps the trickiest question that even an experienced candidate finds hard to answer. Remember that this question needs to be answered with an element of sincerity. It should go beyond what is already written in the CV. One way of responding to these questions could be: “My name is ‘…, I have done my ‘MBA’ in ‘Finance’ from ‘University of Delhi’ in ‘2004’. Presently, I’m working as ‘Assistant Vice-President’ at ‘ICICI Bank’, where, since my last promotion, I have been successfully handling the credit portfolio of the branch which is about Rs 900 million … As a person, I am cheerful, friendly and self-motivated, and like to enjoy my work and after-work life equally.”

Prepare to Face the Commonest Questions 

One often encounters questions such as:

• How did you come to apply for this job?
• Why have you applied for this job?
• Why do you want to leave your present job?
• Why should we hire you?
• What is your objective in life?
• Where do you want to see yourself after 5-10 years from now?
•  Are you ready to be relocated?
• Who is your role model in life?
• What are your strengths and weaknesses?”

These questions sound pretty ordinary but answers to them are to be really labored out. Secondly, the impression created by the answers to these questions almost decides the selection or otherwise.

Be Alert

It is good to bear in mind that a candidate is interviewed right from the minute one enters the employer’s premises. Anything one says or does at the premises of the prospective employer is factored into the decision. Secondly, to be alert means, paying attention to what is being asked by the interviewer. And good listening indicates the respect that the candidate has for the interview panel. Impatience to listen, on the other hand, becomes visible by itself and this is certain to offend the interviewer. Thirdly, being alert helps to structure one’s answers crisply, confining it to the question raised—neither more nor less.

Steer the Interview

An interviewee can also steer the interview towards his area of strengths provided he is alert and agile. It is to be borne in mind that it is the answer to the previous question that gives a cue to the interviewer for raising the next question. Therefore, a candidate must answer the question put to him in such a way that it gives him a right cue for the next question which tends to be in your areas of strength, which one can answer with confidence. Most successful candidates in an interview often end up claiming to have succeeded in steering the interview in their favor. 

Take Time to Think Through

It is not necessary that one should answer every question as fast as the question is asked. It is nothing wrong to ask for time to synthesize one’s thoughts and structure answers properly. It is always better to seek time and reply cogently than shoot out an irrelevant reply. But do not slip into a Samadhi. For, prolonged silence sends the interviewers into jittery.

Do Not Bluff

However diligently one might have prepared, there might be occasions where one might get a question for which he had not prepared, not had any experience to answer, or had no knowledge of it. In such a situation, it is perfectly alright to admit one’s ignorance rather than bluffing. Most of the interviewers appreciate honesty. 

Do Not Tweet “Sorry, Sorry”

A candidate must exhibit poise and confidence at the interview. It doesn’t however mean that one should be aggressive, and at the same time one must not be apologetic of one’s performance. One must learn to be assertive in handling the cards that he has been dealt with well. 

Ask Questions

Most of the interviewers give an opportunity to a candidate to ask questions or seek clarifications. This has to be used to one’s advantage by asking relevant questions about the company’s policies, scope for learning in the job, etc. One should bear in mind that the kind of questions that a candidate puts across speaks volumes about his/her personality. 

At the same time, it makes sense not to raise sensitive questions that are more likely to embarrass the interviewers. Similarly, it is not right to ask questions about salary or other benefits until one is offered the job, for the interviewer will be inclined to think that you are more interested in the money than in the position. 

Observe Common Courtesies

It is often found that candidates do not observe even the elementary courtesies, perhaps being tense of the interview. Of course, no interviewer is going to write off a candidate merely because he has not greeted him, but observing basic courtesies underscores one’s presence well. On the other hand, if the job is more about managing a project involving scores of people, then these things do matter a lot. 

Managing the ‘Interview-Anxiety’

All of us are afflicted with fear, anxiety, nervousness or worry many times in our lives. For instance, while sitting in the hall waiting for one’s turn for the interviewer’s call, some are prone to be tensed up—anxious of what would happen. Anxiety before interview is normal—even experienced people face it. 

The Oxford Dictionary defines anxiety as: “A feeling of worry, nervousness or unease, typically about an imminent event, or something with an uncertain outcome.” In the instant case, it is the fear of failure in the interview, or the self-evaluation that indicated failure, or the very fear of the unknown might be some of the common causes for anxiety. 

Now, the question is: How to handle it? One proven way of handling anxiety of interview is: build confidence through preparation and practice—rehearsing answers to the anticipated questions with a friend or by undergoing a mock interview through some career services agency. It alone enables one to realistically approach the interview. 

The other way to overcome the interview blues is to practice “visualizing success at the interview and developing a positive psyche” which can maximize one’s performance at the interview. Remember, anxiety is caused by what one initially told himself/herself—”The interviewer will ask me questions that expose my ignorance”, etc. 

So, while preparing for the interview one should not allow one’s mind to be fed with images of failure, instead it must be fed with a software that feeds one with scrolls: “I have conducted thorough research about the company, its requirements, the likely questions and reviewed my answers to them, I am prepared to face any reasonable question”; “Yes, I feel tensed up, but I am sure I can cope with this and I will not let this tension get the best of me”, etc. Such auto-feedback strengthens one mentally and finally enables one to manage the anxiety reasonably well. 

One should learn to accept oneself and failures are not an end in themselves. All cannot succeed all the time. One should therefore learn to accept realities and be ready with contingency plans to overcome failures by constantly working to improve oneself. It is only through cultivation of such habits, anxiety can be better managed. 

Conclusion 

It pays dividends if one avoids the temptation to memorize or script one’s answers/conversations with the interviewers, for you tend to sound as too rehearsed, which can prompt an interviewer to throw at you an out-of-the-blue question which may simply derail you. Therefore, participate in the conversation enthusiastically and contribute to its smooth sailing knowledgeably. 

It is often found that candidates do a lot of talking in an interview but never seem to reach the point of the answer, which is sure to annoy a recruiter. Secondly, it leaves an impression that the candidate is not an effective communicator. Either way it is against the interests of the candidate. So, the rule of the game is: be succinct and specific and ask if they need further details so as to avoid flooding them with unnecessary information that may at times unwittingly expose the candidate’s hollowness. 

So, the key for winning in an interview is to be positive, professional, and authentic and demonstrate how one can contribute to the job by using concrete examples from one’s past.

Courtesy: IUP Journal of Management Research